this is me, being ADD on my blog, thanks to the internet + the-week-before-school-starts boredom.
Olivia Lufkin vs Ayumi Hamasaki
I was leaving this comment on the song "A Little Pain" by Olivia Lufkin, then decided no one would care *slash* I might start a loser J-pop fan war, so I thought I'd just put it here :]
Olivia's voice in this song reminds me a bit of Ayumi Hamasaki's, but her voice and even her "look" is a lot more natural than Ayumi's.
this is kinda random, but though I admit that even Olivia's relatively tame goth/loli look is not exactly natural, it's always been hard for me to get over how Ayumi is like the Paris Hilton of Japan in terms of appearance...bug-eye sunnies, ridiculously fake eyelashes, how-isn't-it-fried-off-yet/maybe-it's-a-weave unnatural blonde hair, blah blah...it just makes me think of that kind of materialistic-looking (if not actually materialistic) person whenever I hear her voice.
Anthropologie
for the most part, I think this place is retardedly, nonsensically overpriced. most of it is fun to ooh and ahh over in terms of their products' delicate, stereotypically-feminine cuteness, but buying anything that isn't ~50% off is dumb unless you're talking about candles, which are pretty much the only things normal people can afford from there.
here's my thing: if you want cute oxford shoes, you can go to a couple of secondhand stores and dig around awhile and come up with some for $15. you don't need to spend $218 (<--that is a *real price*, not an arbitrary number) on oxfords from Anthropologie. like, wtf? what? the fuck? from what I can tell, it's probably mostly made in China or somewhere else apparently too unsavoury to put the country of origin....from what I've looked through, the descriptions all say "imported", except for a few that specified Spain.
I dunno. I feel like one doesn't need to spend that much money on something unless it meets these requirements: that the thing be well-made and built to last, and that it's going to be both useful and well-loved, like a bag, coat, or shoes.
but $218 for shoes?? I dunno...I get the feeling that Anthropologie is for trophy wives and/or their spoilt daughters.
these are the things I think about when I'm surfing the interwebs. should I keep going? :P
Who did you meet this year who had a big impact on your life? Did you reconnect with any old friends? Who was there for you through it all?
Who I met: a new group of ladies that I knit with on Sunday nights. They're younger, closer to my age and I don't feel much like a "whipper snapper" anymore as I do in my Tuesday night group, so thank God for that! Them and two Americans in Barcelona. That was pretty cool.
Reconnecting with old friends: Not really, although I hope to do that in 2010.
Who was there through it all: My family -- hubby and kids. The bestest people in the world.
Moonmallow (the adorable plushie above) and I hope you and your loved ones have some very happy hollydays this year. ^___^ I've been busy with buying pressies for my friends and family, wrapping the pressies, and sending out cards to people over the past few weeks. Everything seems like a blur-- but a very happy blur!
I'm sending many warm thoughts your way. <3
What would it take to get you to start a new life on a new world?
Sponsored by AVATAR. In theaters December 18. Buy tickets now.
There would probably have to be nothing left for me in my "old life" or "old world" for me to start a new life on a new world. Don't know what would constitute that, though.
I've spent a lot of time on my blog and other places online talking about Ed and Fru. I was thinking about it a while ago and I realized that I rarely ever come out and talk about just Isis, even though she's a huge part of my life. In the last year or so, she's played an even bigger role in my happiness.
When I first got Ed and Isis, I remember being disappointed about how unattached I felt with them. I wrote a blog post about it here and I got a lot of great feedback about how loving pets can take time sometimes; it's not always instantaneous. Everyone who said that was right and I'm really thankful for their help. Isis is one of those kitties that took a while to warm up to me-- much longer than Ed. And in all honesty, the wait was completely worth it.
Shawn, Beth, and I noticed that there was something a little "off" about Isis when she first came to live with us. She was terrified of everything. Even for a kitty, the horror in her eyes every time someone walked past her seemed excessive. We all watched her carefully and then came to the conclusion that she was most likely abused by one of her previous owners. As far as we knew, she had at least two previous owners, but there could have been more. The way she ran away from people and ducked her head whenever anyone would make any quick movements made me feel like she had once been struck by someone-- most likely a male since she's always had a greater fear with them. I know that not all kitties are warm and cuddly (I've been around a lot of cats in my life), but the feeling I got when I saw the fear in Isis' eyes told me something extremely bad happened to her in her past. Knowing this made me determined to help her feel comfortable in her new life.
I first started noticing a change in Isis when I took her (and Ed) to the vet for a checkup about two years ago. Ed was pretty calm, but as usual, Isis was terrified. I gently picked her up and held her the entire time she was there. It was the first memory I have of her clinging to me because she felt protected and safe in my arms. I remember how I couldn't stop smiling. Shawn even mentioned that Isis and I were having a "bonding experience." Ever since that day, I've felt a deep connection with Isis.
Since then, she's been slowly becoming more loving. I took advantage of that change and started to "work" with her more often. When she was really young, she wouldn't let anyone hold her and would claw her way out of a person's arms. (I have a scar to prove it.) I decided to take baby steps with Isis to help her understand that being held was a good thing. Every day, I would slowly pick her up and take her over to a window where we could watch the streets outside. I would talk to her in a very soft, soothing voice (very non-threatening) so she knew that I was still there with her. I figured that the movements on the steets would distract her enough so she wouldn't concentrate on the fact that I was holding her. Sure enough, Isis became used to being held by me. After a while, I was able to hold her for an infinite amount of time. In fact, I'd have to say that she now gets sad when I have to put her back on the floor after holding her.
These days, Isis is very relaxed. She's still afraid of almost all strangers (like a lot of kitties are), and most men. However, her attitude and mannerisms have changed to an enourmous extent with the people she's familiar and comfortable with. Isis no longer runs away when people are walking towards her. She doesn't duck her head quickly if people around her are moving their arms or moving objects around her. When Shawn and I walk in the door after being out for a few hours, she stays asleep in her kitty bed in the main room. If anything, she might look up at us to acknowledge our presence... but she doesn't run to a hiding place.
Whenever I'm asleep and Isis sees me curled up under my comforter and another very soft blanket I always use, she hops up on top of my stomach and falls asleep there. A few days ago, I woke up and was able to get off the couch without waking her up-- she stayed in the same spot, sleeping, for over ten hours! Most of the time, she's purring happily whever she's sleeping. And if I don't cuddle with her in the morning, which has become a routine for the two of us, she comes up to me later in the day and gives me sad mews to let me know she wants some cuddles.
Having two kitties who are so different from each other is amazing. Ed is friendly with everyone and is very sociable. Isis has grown into a kitty who chooses who to love, and if you're chosen, you feel like you are the most important person in the world. That's exactly how I feel whenever I'm with her. It was difficult for a long time for me to grasp the idea of Isis being calm and loving, but seeing her so happy every day has made her overall happiness a normality. I couldn't be more grateful for her and the fact that she's overcome whatever pain she experienced in the past. Her ability to move on and be happy has made me happy.
I just read this at the New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/06/magazine/06marriage-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&th&emc=th
The article is about a married couple (two writers) with two children who set out to improve their pretty-much-fine marriage.
I thought it was pretty interesting for several reasons--first of all, I think most people like to read about anything relating psychology to every day life, and even more so if sex is in the mix. It's always interesting to parse people's motives for their behaviour, but when talking about marriage it's super-interesting because there are tons of conflicting schools of thought. Deciding whether I agreed with one, or several, or none was not just fun (who doesn't like self-analysis now and then?), but also introduced me to some ideas that I never considered before; for example, the theory that equality is what kills a marriage, versus too much intimacy, versus too much passion.
The thing is, I'm sure these different ideas are all true, but for different people and marriages, with the variables being the personalities of each person in any given marriage. I'd bet that different and perhaps even conflicting ideas about What Makes Marriage Work/Fail could apply to the same person depending on their partner and how their personalities interact.
Another idea that the author brought up in the article that had never occurred to me was the idea that monogamy is learned in infancy from the relationship between mother and baby, but that the monogamy is actually one-way; the mother is most likely not monogamous with the baby. There could be other children; a husband; the mother's family and friends. (Then again, the model has some exceptions...what about twin babies? What about single mothers who are isolated from others? Why doesn't the baby have a relationship with other people, eg the father?) That got me thinking about monogamy. What do I think about monogamy?
Of course, I'm talking about myself, because I'm of the "don't tell others what to do with themselves" school of thought when it comes to sex. (As y'all may have guessed, from my "Legalise Gay" shirt and my quandary with going back to the cafe owned by a gay-hater.)
Despite(? because of? considering?) my exposure to an ubiquitous American pop culture that condones if not promotes casual hooking up (I feel so old saying it like that) and, on the other end of the polyamorous spectrum, the Seattle sex-positive "why not be honest with each other and consensually fuck around?" arrangement, a la Dan Savage...I feel like monogamy is the arrangement for me, at least when it comes to having a partner.
Back to the mother-baby monogamy. Of course a mother-baby relationship that is monogamous both ways would be *not healthy*. I think a woman needs much, much more than a relationship with a baby. I think anyone would go crazy if they had no adult relationships, and of course, raising a child would be infinitely more difficult without help, even if it's just emotional. But even monogamy on the part of the baby toward the mother is a little weird--wouldn't it be healthier, emotionally, mentally, socially, for the baby to have relationships with other important people, like a father and/or grandparents?
Anyway, back again to partner monogamy. There are a lot of reasons why I think it suits me.
This is a not-so-romantic but pretty important aspect: knowing where it's been. No STDs from other partners.
Another is that I think the highly emotional issues of jealousy, control, and intimacy would become a huge and fucked-up mess. This isn't postulating about hypothetical people and situations; this is what I think would happen to me if I tried to manage a polyamorous arrangement.
I think that, maybe not at first, but probably eventually, I would start to play my partners' feelings off each other to try to create drama revolving around myself. What better way to get attention, right? Start a little competition between them, whether open or underlying. I would feel desired all the time, and by more than one person! Awesome!
Except surely the same thing would be happening to me with my primary partner, or maybe all the partners. I'd be trying to prove how much better I was than whatever other people they were fucking/cuddling/hanging out with.
In short, it would be a passive-aggressive, complicated, scheming hell of stressful personal drama. I would not, probably could not, turn a blind eye to my primary/whatever partner's other trysts. I'm too easily made to feel insecure.
But that's not what I really want anyway--the drama and attention from multiple people. More important than that, what I want from a relationship--one that would end up in marriage--is a best friend. A best friend who is good at fucking me and vice versa, of courrrrrse. And who would want to have kids later on. But the most important thing is a best friend.
Aaaaand now I have to go to work. ^^
I used to go to this cafe all the time, I really liked it because the environment was homey and the food was good. the owner was always really friendly, and took time to talk to people specially about their lives.
but then one day, the owner randomly brought up his extreme dislike of gays, which came after trying to justify outright contempt toward fat people. I feel really uncomfortable about going back, even though I miss the atmosphere and the vegan chocolate chip cookies. blargh.
...You make mead, of course!
When I fell and sprained my wrist in August of this year, I had to stop knitting. I still haven't exactly gone back to it yet (I tried in September with really big needles, but I could only do about 10 stitches before my wrist would ache - and my usual sock knitting was an all-out, absolutely-freakin'-not, which still bothers me). I am going to attempt to knit soon (I've been feeling the withdrawal again, lately) but for the time being, I've switched gears again and I have been making mead.
Well, it wasn't because I was broken and unable to knit that I started homebrewing - I had wanted to brew mead for a while and when the husband announced he wanted to brew beer with our friend, I jumped in with my own interest in homebrewing. I have bottled my first mead just a week ago (Nov 28th, I think) and that was started back on May 9th. It's a strawberry melomel and it's bloody tasty, even as young as it is at the moment. I can't wait to try it as it ages.
Today, the husband and I did a chocolate mead (which will later become a chocolate chili mead - mmm...habanero!) and if the flavours survive the aging, I will be very selfish! It tastes wonderful with the chocolate and honey coming through and has the potential to be 17% alcohol! I'm really looking forward to making more batches so by next year, I will have some very lovely drinks to share...or not!
earlier today when I was waking up, Josh came in and sat down and we proceeded to have a snuggle party. he had a little spaz attack and squeezed me tightly and said "I thank the God for let me loving you!! let me love this cutie!!"
at the time I was too sleepy to really react, but now when I think about it I start crying! ahhhh so touching~ just~ cry~~~
A lot of Blythe people are doing their dolls' favorite fifteen items on Flickr. I decided to do a photo for Plum! She has so many favorite things... It was difficult to fit even just fifteen of them into one shot. o_O
And actually, all the items in this photo are Plum's favorite clothes and accessories, not just the fifteen that are tagged on my Flickr. I cheated a little! But I only tagged fifteen of the items, haha. ^__^
I can't wait to take more photos of Plum in the outfit she's wearing right now. She's totally dressed for autumn and winter. I dressed her and Jinkies the other day and they look so cute next to each other. It's been super cloudy and rainy every day this week so there haven't really been any opportunities for me to go outside and get good lighting for photos. I was lucky I got a chance to jump outside for this quick photo today. In fact, I almost didn't get any shots in because the tiny dresses started getting blown away. x_____x Shawn stood outside with me and made sure it all stayed in order, tee hee.
